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Quotes that make me smile

On route up to attic:
"It's terribly cluttered and full of dust." Juliet
"I have a brain like that." Inspector Craddock
"We keep meaning to clean it out." Juliet
"So do I." Inspector Craddock
Murder Announced, Miss Marple - Agatha Chrsitie
"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand." - Charles Schultz.
"I remember my wedding. I never thought I could be that happy. Then I got divorced and I never thought I could be THAT happy!"
Camilla Dane
"I miss my ex-wife, but my aim is getting better" - Country song title
"Leave the parenting to us, we get a magazine about it once a month" - Peggie Hill
"Money can't buy love, but it makes shopping a lot easier" - Bo Derek
"The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself." - Karl Barth.
"Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives." - Willa A. Foster
"I am always prepared to recognize that there can be two points of view, mine, and the one that's probably wrong." - John Gorton
"Of course I love you - just ask my wife" - Country song title
"How many elephants is that?" - Gregory, from his film
"It doesn't matter how good an eggs looks. If it smells, there's something wrong." - Dieckhoff's Law
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone." - Anthony Burgess
"If that’s his face, imagine what his scrotum looks like!" - unknown
"A doctor can always bury his mistakes, an architect can only advise his client plant vines." - Frank Lloyd Wright
"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." - Oscar Wilde
"Look at those beautiful shoes! If only I didn't have a pair of shoes already" - Marge Simpson
"Bluebottle: 'Are you all here?' Eccles:'I'm not all here.'" - The Goons
"The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game." - Bill Shankly
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." - Unknown
"Life is just one damn thing after another"- Elbert Hobbard
"but legs apart, what did you think of her?" Interviewer asking about a woman who the interviewee had just praised for her beautiful legs
"Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools talk because they have something to say" - Plato
"Be nice to your kids ... They will pick out your nursing home." - Unknown
"Too many people say they have an open mind when they are only vacant." - anon
"You're the reason my children are ugly." - Country Song Title, Unknown
"I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than be success at something I hate." George Burns
"You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?"
"Really?' said Arthur. `No I didn't. For what offence?"
Trillian frowned.
"What do you mean, offence?"
"I see."
from HHGG

Selection of quotes of a more serious tone